The Love of a Mother

Well, we are back!..I know its been a while since we have written on Isabella's blog. Its so easy to let life get in the way. Sometimes I feel like we have zero time or maybe just zero energy..lol. Isabella made a trip to a specialist Friday to get fitted for braces she will be wearing on her feet. She doesn't have to wear them all the time, just during the day when she is jumping or practicing her standing. I picked her out a very pretty design. Its blue with pink butterflies. She loves blue! Not to mention, it will match her eyes!:)..She didn't really care to be held down and let sticky stuff dry on her till it got hard, but she was a champ through it all!..I'm sure it will be worth it.

On another not so good, Isabella has made two unwanted trips to the hospital and doctor's office in the past two weeks. Her fever shot up and she had to get blood work and a urine test and a chest x-ray. She had a UTI but its gone now. She also had a spot on her lungs but the x-ray is showing that it is clearing up..Yay!.. She's cutting more teeth, so she may not be a happy camper for a while.(...Can't wait till all those teeth or in for good!

Motherhood is definitely a wonderful thing, something I wouldn't trade for anything, but its also a very scary thing if you think about it. Loving someone so very much and knowing that they are your reason for living is alot to feel. Its amazing but it scares me to death too!..This love is so powerful, its unlike anything else. I have found that as a parent, you live through your children. If they are happy, your happy. If they are sad, your sad. When they hurt, you hurt. With all Isabella is going through, I feel I am going through it as well. Right there with her. Even though sometimes I feel she is way tougher than me..:)..When I look at my daughter and see her held back in so many ways, trapped to an extent, I feel trapped too. I see her in need of healing, and I see I need that healing too. When I'm around other mothers who have babies and they are talking about what their babies are doing and saying and accomplishing, I feel totally left out of the conversation. I feel like an outcast, and I feel my child has been pushed out too. I know the other mothers are innocent in their words, but I feel only parents going through the same thing would really understand. It goes over everyone else's head so fast, but when you are faced with these trials, you sart to notice things you didn't before. When you hear people say "I can't wait till my child starts walking!"..it hits me like hot water in my face..I want to say "Hey, my child is almost two and she can't sit up!".."Be patient and be thankful!"..But I have to remind myself they don't mean any harm. I probably would say the same thing if I wasn't traveling this road I am on. I guess I just feel like others should be more considerate, but at the same time, I don't want to make others feel like they can't say what they want. I just can't stand being constantly reminded of what my child can't do. People just can't imagine what that feels like. I want to be reminded of good things. I want to be reminded that I have her here with me, and thats all that matters right now..No matter what she can or can't do, she will always be my little girl, the love of my life! I am just so full of emotion and I'm not sure what to do with it sometimes. I started this blog to let everyone know how Isabella is doing but also to get it all out there and maybe I could help someone else in the process. And maybe that will help heal me too

Mommy loves you Isabella

Spring Break!

Well, we just got back from Dauphin Island..we had a great time!..got some great family photos on the beach!..I'm so happy with them!.

.We took some last year on Isabella's first Spring Break and I was comparing the pics, and she has grown so much!

my baby is blooming into a big girl!..I could cry!..Time sure flies, especially when you're so happy and in love with your child. She loved the feeling of the wind on her face, and she makes the funniest face when she feels it!check it out below!

she is so tall!..I can't believe how much my little girl is growing!
You know, someone asked me the other day what I was was going to do when Isabella got too heavy for me to carry up the stairs. Honestly, my mind has always been set on the fact that Isabella was going to walk before I was faced with that. So, it has never been a worry to me. But, when I was faced with that question, I had to think about it, and I have come to the conclusion that God has got it all in His hands. For now, I love holding my baby in my arms and will continue to do so for as long as I can. After that, only God knows. But, I'm not going to end the matter with those words. I would rather say that my God is a healer and NOTHING is impossible with Him!..I dont wake up everyday worrying how Isabella's life is going to turn out because she has been in God's hands since before she was born. And I'm just going to leave her there. That's right where she needs to be. And I'm at peace with that.
My little girl is a trooper and inspires me everyday to be a better person..more loving, more devoted, more like Christ. I am honored to have been able to witness the purity and innocence and love that Isabella shows me everyday. I aim to be more like her. Thank you God for such an incredible blessing! I know you have a great plan for Isabella, and I am confident in that plan.

This is one cool baby right there!!!..Go Bella!..Go Bella!!

So Much To Look Forward To!

Well, tomorrow is the big day!..Isabella inspired her cousin, Hunter, to start a non-profit organization for children with disabilities and their familes. She is the face of this operation and tomorrow they are having their very first fundraiser!..We will be at a local boutique here in Mobile, called Ruby Blue. We will have t-shirts, cotton candy, and snow cones!..And Isabella will be there to show her support as well! So many people want to meet our precious little girl!..Now we just need to pick her out something cute to wear tomorrow!..LOL.))..That is important..especially to us girls.:)..

Isabella has been really irritable lately..she has allergies AND she's cutting four teeth at once!!..OUCH!..my poor little darlin'. I just gave her some tylenol so hopefully we won't have a bad night. I can't do anything about all this pollin though, come on Summer!!!..)).

Thursday, Isabella had therapy again. She was doing pretty well until she fell asleep in the therapist's arms. There was no waking her up after that!..She got to practice standing, in a really neat contraption I must say. I wouldn't mind having one of those at home.

Isabella sat in her highchair at dinner last night and ate some spagetti that I chopped up into little bitty pieces so my baby could eat it..She really enjoyed it. Not to mention, she also drank out of her very first sippy cup! Yay Bella!!..It has little handles on it so she can learn to hold it herslf one day soon.:)..

We visited a neighboring church last night right up the street. We really enjoyed the sermon and the singing. We also really enjoyed the prayer and encouragement afterwards. It was nice to talk to others that still believe God is a miracle working God!..We will not give up on Isabella!..We will pray for her everyday for God to continue to touch her with His healing hand!..Nothing is impossible with God!

In love with Isabella.)

There is absolutely no way to express the love between a mother and child. I'm sure alot of you know what I mean. Sometimes I am truly overwelmed by how much I love my child. It's even scary at times. She is my whole world.
I saw a video tonight from the day of my baby shower..Setember 2010. It's so crazy how the very time of this video I had no worries. I was in that blissful state of pregnancy where you are just on cloud nine waiting for the arrival of the precious baby you have been carrying for so long. I remember that feeling. Sometimes I miss the moment in time when I was pregnant,  before I knew there was something wrong with Isabella. When everything was still perfect with no worries. But then again, I didnt have her to kiss and snuggle with. So here we are now, yes I worry every day because I see my baby struggle, but I would rather worry and have her, than no worries and not have her. So we are just going to press onward and work hard...we are in this together..always.

Isabella had a busy day today. She went to her cousin's first birthday and then a baby shower for her other bigger cousin..LOL. She was plum wore out. Now she is asleep snuggled up to her daddy. I'm very excited to announce that Isabella has truly been a happy, playful baby ever since she has worked out her day and night schedule. She's always been happy but she slept alot during the day..well, most of the day actually. So we never really got to see alot of energy out of her. Now its just wonderful!..She stays awake most of the day taking a nap here and there. And she has been sleeping all night!..Its truly an answered prayer.))..Well, tomorrow is Sunday and hopefully if the weather is pretty, we can go outside. If not, we are playing inside for sure!..I'm trying to make excercise fun..I hpe it works!...Loving my baby girl oh so much!!!!!!!!

Still Going Strong..:)

Hi there!..its been a week or so since we have posted..Isabella has been getting over RSV..I can't wait till all the little coughing and the runny nose is gone completely. Well, Isabella recieved an awesome package in the mail last week from WaterWay Babies!..Her new float!..It's designed especially for children who need a little extra support. We are so thankful to Lucia from Colorado who also has PKS, she is the reason we found out about this specail float!..Thank u!!

Isabella has another package on the way pretty soon and I'm really excited about it!..A beautiful blue ruffle dress to match her eyes!..She is going to wear it to her cousin Shaina's wedding in April. It would also make a wonderful outfit for a photoshoot, so be looking out for that!.))...

Isabella had therapy today, she got really upset like always..but she is improving with sitting up by herself and that makes me one proud mama. My daughter truly inspires me.

We also went to the eye doctor today. Some how I knew before hand that I wasn't going to get great news. It's like I had this feeling to prepare myself. And I'm very glad I did because the doctor just plainly told me she could not see very well at all. She is drawn to light, but everything else is probably not very clear. More than likely, these problems all stem from the brain. They want to put her to sleep so they can look deeper into her eyes, and then maybe she will get a diagnosis. It was very overwhelming to constantly hear what's "wrong" with your child instead of what's "right". It's a constant battle of positive and negative energy in my mind.

But , all that matters at the end of the day is Isabella laying here beside me. I have her with me today and that feels my heart with joy. I know God is a Healer and when He chooses to do more with Isabella, He will. I havent heard the word "mama" and I haven't got a hug yet, but that doesn't mean I'm not a mama. I'm still holding on to a hope everyday and I can't let go of it. And why should I? What's life without hope and faith? They are what gives mankind a reason to look up and keep going, better days are ahead.
I am so very thankful for every prayer that has been prayed for Isabella. I know she is thankful as well, and one day she will tell everyone just how thankful she is! For now, I'm going to do all the snuggling and get all the sugars I can get, cause they grow up way too fast!..Night Night...Love Ya'll

A Beautiful Day!

Well today was some what productive..towards the end of the day really. Isabella stayed with her Nanny but ended up sleeping ALL day long, mainly because she kept her mommy up late last night.:)..When she finally woke up this afternoon, we decided the weather was so wonderful outside that we should take a stroll. So we got dressed and went on our way. I started out slowly pushing her and then thought it would be fun to put a little pep in our step to see how she would like it. She thought it was funny..LOL. We stopped by the cow pasture and she heard them moo..and then some little doggies came running up barking so that was exciting for her! We finally made it to the church next door and stopped in so I could play her a little tune on the guitar. She loves music! The kids at our church love marching around the benches during an up beat song. Like Joshua marched around Jericho when the walls fell down. Well, Isabella can't march yet, so I decided to push her around the benches a few laps while we sang "The Little White Church". Its a song written for our church because it actually is the little white church on top of the hill.).. After we were finished, we went outside and Isabella got the pleasure of watching her mommy play basketball..(for her entertainment of course..LOL)..One day Isabella will get to play with me!..We finished our stroll by making a lap around the goat pasture and stopping by the pastor's house and letting him annoint and pray for her to be healed. Thank you Jesus for our right as children to ask our heart's desire. Our desire is for our daughter to live a full, happy, healthy life and I know God has heard us. It's all in His timing. Well, tomorrow we may take another stroll if the weather permits..I think it was the highlight of Isabella's day..and mine. This pic shows the light coming in through the church windows..I thought it was very pretty.:)

Therapy Day.)

Well today was therapy day. Isabella didn't want to go but we went anyways because we are determined to see her sit up, crawl, and walk! We strongly believe God is going to see that this happens. So even though we go to therapy, it definitely doesn't mean we are casting the healing power of God aside. It only means we are still in prayer while we are using every tool available to progress Isabella. I believe that shows God we are doing whatever we can to make the best of our circumstances while still having faith that His healing power will do the impossible. There is only so much that doctors can do, but nothing is impossible with God! He and He alone is what I depend on. I'm very thankful for every doctor and every therapist that is helping Isabella learn but The Lord God Almighty is going to do the most! And I'm looking forward to it! He has already done so much! When Isabella came home from the hospital, her kidneys were not working properly. A "solemn fast" was called and many participated, and the first day it was in affect, her kidneys started working perfectly! I know there is healing available, we just have to be willing to seek God with our whole hearts, casting everything else aside, and letting God be number 1 in our lives! God has so much to give! We need to put ourselves in a position to recieve them. All I want is for Isabella to enjoy life to the fullest. If I never recieve anything else from God, that's fine. All that matters is my daughter and her happiness. Anyways, Isabella did really good at therapy today! She sat up on her own for about 15 seconds or so. That is a dramatic improvement from the last visit! I was so excited! I didn't break down and cry today, even though I came close, so that was an improvement as well!.:)We have to go back next week, I hope Isabella will enjoy it next time. Tomorrow she will be staying with her Nanny while I go to bus training class. Maybe if the weather permits, Nanny will take her out for a stroll..she loves strolling!..Well, off to bed now, hopefully my little cuddle bear will fall asleep soon!.:)